Friends in the workplace...

Do you think you could balance a friendship with someone you also work with? I think the answer is no. First of all in the workplace you have to have a certain level of respect for the people you work with, a different kind of respect than the people you are friends with. I have learned the lesson time and time again, as I have gotten friends jobs at my place of employment and found myself loathing them being there because I do not work like I hang out and hanging out is what you are used to doing with your friends. It is a complete different scenario if you become friends with a stranger that you work with, I have seen this go both ways. Either you gain respect for the person as a co-worker and become great friends or once the other person feels comfortable with you (as a friend), they don't mind stepping on you or throwing you under the bus to make themselves feel and look better. This issue arises again and again and somehow I can not make myself comprehend, so not befriend your co-workers, this could go very bad. But I seem to always think people are generally good people until I am slapped in the face with reality.

Men in Uniforms?

(Back to the blogging you come here to read)

So I know we have all heard the statement "I love a man in uniform". I think I heard this as a young child and my mother's infatuation with "An Officer and a Gentleman", took me to a completely different place than most. When most people use that phrase they are generally speaking about men serving in the armed forces, don't get me wrong those are great too, but I wonder why let it stop there.

My first man in uniform, we will call him Jay. I was 16 and he was probably too old for me, but I think that uniform did it for me. He came in the store I worked daily and I was smitten. I didn't act on that feeling, nor did the fact that the uniform he wore belonged to the oil changing place, change how I felt. Like I said, uniforms are uniforms, right?

Next we had the one we will call, Tim, Oh Tim.. hmmm he was a looker, and the uniform rawr! I am telling you these uniforms are like status symbols right? This one I did have a relationship with and was my first love, well until he broke my heart into a million pieces when he decided it would be a good idea, to hurt me to have sex with one of my friends, this friend also was the one holding me while I cried because I didn't know who this "mystery" girl was that ruined my world. Trust me I got the better end of the deal by this loser dumping me. I sooo should have learned from this. This charmer wore the uniform from the Auto Parts store, but I didn't care.

Now I did not let infatuation end with guys who changed oil, fixed your car, or served our country, but I took it to a whole new levels as saw fit. I can not think of one occupation of a man wearing a uniform that does not make me smile. It may sound trivial but as I got older and reflect back I wonder why in the world this happened. Alas I think I have the answer, what do all of these people have in common? They are all employed, meaning they all have jobs, and there it is posted on their clothing along with their names and freshly starched shirts, a statement that says, hey chick, look at me I am stable and I can take care of you and you can wash my uniforms. Even an inmate, even though it is not a respected one, they too have jobs and uniforms. To be young again, I was naive as they come. For some reason I believed a prince charming would come riding in wearing his super cool uniform and save the day. Just one of those fantasies I had in my mind.

This was just one of the many things as a teenager that made me different, my thoughts on people are quite possibly the one thing that kept me out of the "in" crowd. I was interested by everyone and how they thought and felt. What makes people tick. There were so many "groups" of people. We had at my school, the In crowd, the artsy people, the super smart people, the ones that wore black, the outcasts, the band people, the jocks, and a few more. Where did I fit in, in the scheme of these, I don't really think I did, I can think of friends I had from each group and how does this tie in with this blog? Because like the men I was so infatuated with, these people too wore uniforms, just not the ones with name tags. The In crowd displayed their uniforms through the best clothes, the band people wore band, dance line, majorette uniforms, the artsy people wore tie dyed clothing and had hacky sacks, the black wearing crowd, wore of course black and trench coats and black eyeliner, Me? lol I was fine in a sweat shirt and blue jeans. BUT as I looked at each of these groups those uniforms made them special, you could see what group they belonged to because of their uniforms. So which one of these guys did I end up with, well first I married a self proclaimed stoner and however his status and him being so different from me, I loved him, that unfortunately did not last. Now for the last 6 years I have been married to and have to children by.... this was very shocking even to me... the one from the black wearing crowd. He had long hair and the trench coat and all, who would have known right. You just never know. I have no idea which uniform my children will wear, but I know that whatever they choose will be perfect as long as they are happy and are being themselves!

My lesson learned was it is not the uniform worn, It IS the people underneath it that make it.
I guess long story short, don't judge a book by its cover or its uhm uniform!

Until next time

It has in fact been awhile...

It has been a few months since I have blogged. I have not felt like it or really had the time and to be honest was afraid if I continued to blog after April, I would break down. Here is where I am right now. My grandmother that I adored so and blogged on her recovery, passed a way a few weeks ago. It was more than heartbreaking. It could not hurt more if I had lost my mother, because she was so much like a mother to me. I am still working in the pharmacy for the time being, it is so hard juggling being a mother of 2 small children while dealing with effing tradgedy and working. I do not know the solution and I am not sure if there is one. I have to make money, have to, but at what point is it no longer worth it. I would live on the streets if it would bring my MawMaw back or cure my dads cancer, but I do know that is not a fix either. My dad is no longer on chemo. Here a note I posted on that:
She meant the world to me. For so many years my family was her world and for the last months my world revolved around her. She was more than a grandmother, she was like a 2nd mother. It was her that took me to my first day of school, she is the one who took care of us when we were sick, she put calamine lotion on our chicken pox, when our house burnt to the ground, she is the one who helped us get furniture for our new home. SHE was ALWAYS there and that is so hard thing to swallow. In a way I feel so lucky to have gotten 28 years with such an amazing, generous, kind, christian, woman, but at the same time that is what makes letting go so hard. I know at some point we all have to go, I just wasn't ready for that time to come. I truely believed she was getting better. I remember the last time I saw her coherant was 2 days before she was rushed to the hospital, she stuck her toungue out at me because I told her I liked her ride. The call I recieved that Friday, I thought it was something else we would overcome, however when I met the ambulance I knew that wasn't the case. She had kidney failure and a lot of fluid built up, there just wasn't a lot to do but make her comfortable and she fought for 5 days and that is when the lord called her up. That morning I cried, but not for long, after all there was so much to do. Both parents were in the hospital and MawMaw died. They were able to wheel my dad down to her room, as soon as he entered the room, she took her last breath. My dad was hospitalized for internal bleeding again and liver problems steming from the cancer. My mother had pneumonia and cellulitis, which they originally thought was a heart attack, thank the lord that was not the case. My dad was released the next day and my mom was released the afternoon before the viewing. This time has been so difficult and if I could reach only one person and tell them to make sure those you love, know just how much they mean to you. Never let a good deed go with out a thank you, let people know you care. These are the "highlights" of the last month, I know some of you were wanting updates. Right now the course of action with my dad is he is healing, getting over the last hospital visit and the death of his mother, then he and his oncologist will decide what move to make next. My mom is doing better and followed up with the doctors and is going through some testing and medications. So maybe she will feel up to par soon. Myself, while dealing with this all I am trying so hard to not become bitter and it is a hard thing. I love many people but nothing what I have for my family and sometimes it does feel like those I love the most are being taken from me one by one and everything good is fading.You would not believe it but my father, myself, we have been picked a part on every aspect of our lives lately. People have caused him such heartache over how to deal with MawMaw's thing. money, house, here is the deal, it is his, he is her only son and point blank he will do with it as he sees fit, end of story, and I think it is SICK to want to worry someone as sick as he is while he is dealing with the loss of his mother. Picking me apart, just as sick, but I can not be bothered by those who do not even matter in this situation. Be kind to others you never know when you may have to walk in their shoes, no one is immune to tradgedy. Keep a sympathetic heart and an open mind! My world was great this time last year and it has taken every bit of effort just to make it through each day since November. Things can change in a blink of an eye! I know there is light at the end of the tunnel, I just hope it isn't a train!"You don't know when, where or how you will die, you can decide how you live, NOW"
Love Always,
Karen
And always thank you to so many who have supported me, listened, or just were there in body or spirit!

Fairytales....

What little girl didn't love to hear fairy tales, tales of princesses, prince charming, fairies, wishes and dreams coming true. Here are the 2 definitions I found for fairy tales.
fairytale: a story about fairies; told to amuse children
fairytale: an interesting but highly implausible story; often told as an excuse.
Hmm... I should have read the disclaimer first, "This story is clearly for your amusement only, not true or plausible."

Cinderella: Father dies (not amusing), Raised by evil stepmother (not amused), made her clean 24/7 (what kinda people wrote this). Then her fairy godmother grants her wish to go to the ball, no no she did not wish to be free of the idiots she lived with, she wanted her a man. (Can you see where this is going). The prince maybe charming but that is all he did, the girls had to suffer to be with them. Cinderella was locked in a room, Aerial lost her voice and flipper, Aurora was put in a freaking coma, Jasmine ran away from home and was chained up and had to kiss that creepy guy, Rapunzel must have had a heck of a headache from everyone climbing on her hair, Geez. And what does Mr. Charming do, gallops in on his horse and saves the day. Wow guy... glad you could show up now, I could have used you when I was being broke down and sold as a slave. But apparently one kiss from this guy makes you forget everything and you live happily every after. WHAT?

"There is no Prince Charming.
He isn't coming to take you to the ball, rescue you from a watchtower, or save you from your evil stepmother.
You'll be lucky if you can get him to take out the trash.
Nothing is turning into a pumpkin but a damn seed.
If you are a fish, you will stay that way. No kiss will change that."