You can be my hero

I haven't told a Tyler story in a while, today was one of the sweetest (and I had witnesses.. whoo hoo). Tyler, Belle, Sarah, Steven, and myself were downstairs in Sarah's living room and Ty was coloring and he came to the couch and decided to "give out superhero powers", He got the power of lightening *WHAM*, Belle got the power of like some screaching words.. *Whoopppp*. Then he said and Mommy, "Your superhero power is you have a superhero heart". You guys have NO idea how much that touched me.. brings tears to my eyes, that was some hard core emotion right there. My sweet sweet boy. You will have to ask Sarah and Steven what thier powers were because they were not as cool as mine.. haha! :-)

Last Day of Treatment

Today was the last official day of my dad's cancer treatment. He had a cancer treatment graduation , pomp and circumstance and to boot. I try to think positive thoughts but when you get to a certain personal level it is hard to be optimistic. It is much easier cheering from the sidelines. Right now his biggest worry is not for himself, but for MawMaw, who is still not eating. I truly believe she would thrive better at home, where she could have more constant care and more support and having her there would make my dad feel better, but she can't be released if she will not eat. That, we will have to work on. Sarah is going to make dinner for everyone tomorrow night and take MawMaw some real food and see if she will eat that. It is also James' birthday! He is 25!! Happy Birthday brother!

I feel like lately I HAVE to blog or I am going to forget something, because my mind is racing in a million different directions and if I don't get it down then I may forget a moment that I will later regret, but if I forgot then how could I regret.. see this is how my mind works? I have no idea. I forgot what day of the week it was this week and honestly that was scary for me, that I have to add up days in my head to remember which day I am on. I am just thankful for this little blog of mine to put things "down on paper".

25 Random Things

25 RANDOM THINGS

1. I am married to my complete and polar opposite, but it works :-)

2. We have 2 polar opposite kids, (1 has dark skin and brown eyes and 1 has light skin and blue eyes, one is very tall, one is shorter, one is content to play alone, one runs at 150% all day long.. etc..)

3. I have a pretty hectic life right now, stress is an understatement, but blessed none the less.

4. I have the most wonderful, well rounded, most loyal, unique, diverse group of friends I have ever met.

5. I have the smallest family of anyone I know, but the greatest love! :-)

6. I have ADD, but I amuse myself with it at times, going in circles.

7. Flip Flops are my favorite and I do think they are acceptable with every outfit, why else would they come in every color and design.. hello?

8. My new favorite reality shows are Sober House on VH1 and DEA on Spike.. ironic?

9. I love October

10. I love my blog, however simple and meaningless it may be to you, it is my way to let it out, document and remember. http://karencw.blogspot.com/

11. I am way too excited for the kids starting sports! Belle will be playing soccer and Tyler will be playing T-ball.. I think it is so cute! Wait does that make me a soccer mom?

12. The word Cancer makes my stomach twist.

13. I can be very sensitive, esp. when it comes to things I take personally or have worked hard at.

14. I threw away my work in the 1st grade and Mrs. Pace made me dig it out of the trash can (it was a TALL trashcan too) then tell my mom who was teaching down the hall what I did! :-( (what can I say.. model student)

15. Rodents are disgusting (in my opinon but sorry that is how I feel)

16. I have a Q-Tip fetish.. it is very extensive and I can not stop using.

17. I love music and most songs within the first chords I can remember where I was when I first heard it, how I felt, who was there and what I was doing. Music is powerful to me. I can also memorize a song pretty much the 1st time I hear it, (this would be why my parents got me my multiplication tables on CD:-))

18. I think women should be all liberated and what have you but chivalry should not be dead. Who doesn't want a knight in shining armour to come to the rescue because thier big mouth got them in trouble! :-)

19. I want my house to be spotless. (Want being the key word here) I do not however LIKE to clean (...knight in shining armour enter here...), unless it is like 2 am and I am stressed and I relieve it that way.

20. I'm opinionated about almost everything.

21. I try to put myself in others shoes and show compassion. I sometimes get too compassionate to a fault. I can not stand to see someone in need or hurting. I also can not stand to see people using the good hearted compassion of others to get attention or a "free ride".

22. I can not stand it when someone can not say a simple sentence without using profanity. I let some slip but seriously is it completely necessary to make a point?

23. I MISS the floater pharmacists! Come back!

24. I lived in Clay County and went to school in Talladega, where my parents still owned a house, so I could use that address and still go to my old school. My brother and sister went to Lineville, because we moved there when they were young enough to "start over", that is why we didn't go to school together and why a few Lineville people didn't know they had an older sister, but we lived together and had the same parents and for most of my childhood I shared a room with Sarah, who know lives with me in my basement apartement (and I LOVE the fact that she is still so close to me). Whooooo

25. OH I made it to number 25.. If I would have read this list 10 years ago I do not think 1 thing would be the same besides the love I have for my family and even that has grown to a deeper understanding. My life did not go at all as I had planned it but it did go on and if it had gone any other way I would not have the respect, the drive, the compassion, the humility, the desire, the strength, the love, the will, the chances and the spirit to be the person I am today. I will never be a perfect girl, I will always be the girl who finds the right choice by trying all the wrong ones out first, but hey at least I will never wonder what if? and I will always be me.

Love,
Karen

(taken from facebook note)

Parenting.. The Good Stuff

So as my daughter's birthday party wrapped up, my sister came up to me to ask if I was aware that my clothes, including my underwear were laying in the yard... horrified and thinking they were joking with me I went to look at the damage. Sure enough there in the bushes lay an array of clothes, I looked up and thought well that is a perfect view for our party goers. So as we investigated how in the world they got them outside we looked up and noticed the side of the screen over my bedroom window was slightly opened.. hmmmmm what could possibly make them think pushing clothes out of a tiny hole would be fun? I never know, but I was too amused at the creativity to be mad, so all I could do was shake my head. You have got to love this stuff.

In the previous week, Belle, my gorgeous, precious, daughter was sick and had to have ear drops and nasal drops to suction out her nose. At bedtime I went to get the medicine and it was missing, as I got frustrated because I could not find it, I started gathering dishes to be washed later on. As I picked up 1 glass I noticed a sock in a cup as I removed the sock, there is Belle's medicines. She stood there looking innocent as can be, when I asked her Belle where is your medicine, she answers, In that cup, I don't like it. My smart child, hiding yucky medicine at 2 years old.

As I write these stories reminds me of all the love I have in my heart for my children, they are precious and never ever cease to amaze me.

Love,
Karen

Day 23 of Radiation

At my dad's radiation appointment today he was in such pain and was having such adverse reactions to treatments they have decided to discontinue treatment. He has been put on stronger pain killers to make him more comfortable, cream for his skin and another medication for his stomach. His chemo pump is still in place and was refilled today for 7 more days. So that will be the last of that, unless things change, which in this type situation things often do. He was sent for X-rays to see what is causing the pain, tomorrow they will receive the results. I have never seen my dad so weak and in such pain. He asks my mother to lay with him and just hold his hand. He is now in so much pain he isn't able to make the trips to see my grandmother and bless his heart, there are some heartless people that do not understand. My father himself is facing death and his more pain than I can imagine , he has been so brave and put his pain and cancer on the back burner to care for MawMaw and how dare anyone hold it against him that he can not physically make it there. During this experience I have seen the kindest hearted people right along with the coldest hearted, I only hope those people are NEVER faced with this type tragedy. Not 1 but 2 close family members with terminal diagnosis, not enough people to go around and trying to figure out every way to finance everything. Trust me when I say this is not a place to throw judgement. My job as well as others are not sympathetic to this situation, as it is not their own and all they know is they need me there, and I of course need the money, again torn.

I went and visited MawMaw today, she was still quite confused and wasn't eating. Her room had my artwork of pictures stuck to the wall and she told me who everyone in the pictures were, I think she knows something isn't right with my dad because she kept asking where he was, I called him and let her talk to him, a few minutes later she asked me where he was. I did manage to get her to eat a Nutri-Grain bar and drink some Sierra Mist (her new favorite drink), I had to hunt down at a gas station. The only way I got her to eat was to tell her I wasn't leaving until she finished every bite, and how late it was getting and I had to drive home to see my babies. :-) I figured whatever works, right? It worked so it was for the greater good. She is so precious to me. They both are I have been researching and searching for help and answers for my family, hopefully our prayers will soon be answered.
Love,
Karen

Freakin Sick...

So my new place to hang out seems to be the doctor's office. Between Belle, myself, my dad, grandmother, I get to visit some doctor somewhere several times a week. Belle is better thank goodness for antibiotics and I am getting better thankfully, I know you mothers out there know, nothing seems to work if mom is sick and NOTHING gets done either, there is no rest for the mothers.

I talked to my dad today, he said MawMaw is not eating, she thinks someone is poisoning her food and sometimes she just will not eat it. I am not sure what will come of that. Like I posted earlier the chemo/radiation is really taking a toll on my dad, he is so sick, his skin is reacting to all the radiation, today was his 21st round of radiation. Unfortunately all they can do at this point is prescribe him more medication to make him comfortable. I keep praying for things to look up and I know things happen for a reason, so my trust is in God's hands.

Thanks as always to those of you who follow along and continue to pray for my family. The heart of others are what is helping us along at this time. I would love to get back to writing my cynical/funny blogs instead of these that bring such bad news. XOXO

Love,
Karen

3 am huh?

I picked up Belle's cake today and it is BEAUTIFUL! The girls as For goodness Cakes, did a wonderful job! I am still trying to muster up the energy to clean the rest of the house for Belle's party but it is just not looking promising! Being sick stinks especially when you are the mommy! I can't wait to post pictures from tommorrow and I am sorry for all of those that are going to miss it, I know there is so much illness going around and I hope each and every one of you feel better soon!
Muah!
Karen